REALLY good Bumper Sticker Material....

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Assassins do it from behind.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
Wink, I'll do the rest!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.